By Jill Brightman
As a child, one of my favorite past times was sorting through my family’s old, black and white photographs that had been passed down from multiple generations.
I romanticized the pictures of grandfather, in his World War II military uniform, and my grandmother, his young bride. I chuckled at looking at my own father as a gawky teen and was awestruck by looking at my great-grandparents in their turn of the century attire.
By Carol Frances
I’m about to leave the best job I’ve ever had. To work longer hours. To be on my feet all day and to deal with the public. I’m parting company with the finest group of colleagues I’ve ever had the privilege to work with to embark on a journey into the unknown.
I wouldn’t blame you if you called me crazy!
Losing a spouse is a devastating experience whether it happens at the end of a long illness or without any warning. In a moment, everything changes. For many, widowhood feels surreal, like the whole world has shifted slightly, leaving them standing apart from the life they used to know.
Modern culture in general, and American culture in particular, do not offer a lot of guidance for how to support someone who is grieving such a loss. This leaves many of us feeling deeply uncomfortable. In the worst cases, those awkward feelings keep us from offering the help we desperately want to provide to a friend or loved one.
We just don’t know what to do or say.
Maybe it’s human nature to always want to be something other than what we are.
When we are little kids, we want to be grownups, because we think they get to do whatever they want whenever they want.
As teenagers, we crave the freedom of young adults—no curfews, no homework, finally making some money of our own.
“There are only four kinds of people in the world. Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.” –Rosalyn Carter
These prescient words by the former first lady remain as relevant and true as ever.
According to a 2020 report from the AARP:
Your daughter accompanies you to a doctor’s appointment for moral support, and the doctor addresses all his questions to her instead of to you.
Nothing like feeling invisible!
The nurse talks to you the way Kindergarten teachers speak to their students, sometimes using the “royal we” and often using inappropriate terms of endearment like “young lady” or “young man.”
Just as keeping physically fit is important as we age, so is keeping mentally fit. More research is being done on how adults can work out their “mental muscles” to keep their minds sharp and possibly put off or avoid the onset Alzheimer’s and dementia.
1. Engage in physical exercise
Surprised that physical exercise tops the list? You shouldn’t be. Exercise is arguably the single most effective way to keep the mind sharp and the memory strong. Any type of physical exercise that gets the heart rate up is good for the brain as well as the body.
There are some life experiences that you just can’t understand until you have lived them yourself. For example nothing can truly prepare you for becoming a parent.
Read all the books you want and watch all your friends have their own kids—you will never really get it until you’re the one doing the 2 a.m. feeding or calling the pediatrician about how, exactly, one might safely extract a Lego from a child’s right nostril.
A similar you-can’t-understand-until-you’ve-been-there rule applies to the often poignant transition from being your parent’s child to being their caregiver.
After a loss, family is often tasked with the responsibility of handling the financial and legal matters associated with administering the estate of the deceased. While this in and of itself can be stressful and overwhelming, perhaps the more emotionally-draining ritual is sorting through personal belongings such as clothing, jewelry, and photos of a loved one.
One often overlooked personal item that must be removed when cleaning out after someone has died, are unused prescriptions and over-the-counter (OTC) medications.
What do you do with these now unneeded, but potentially dangerous, medications when your loved one is gone? How do you make sure they are safely disposed of and do not fall into the wrong hands?
Landing a new job is a daunting task when you’re in your 50s or 60s. The prospect of transitioning to a new company or perhaps rejoining the workforce after some time away can feel like having to reinvent yourself from the ground up.
It doesn’t help that, despite the passage of the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) in 1967, ageism is still very much a part of our professional landscape.
Workplace discrimination against someone on the basis of age can take many forms from being passed over for assignments and promotions to being excluded from key meetings to being denied training experiences. And—yes—it can also show up in the hiring process.
Connecticut Estate Planning Attorneys Blog